Music Taste

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I’ve been riled up for almost a week now.

On Saturday I met up with a group of friends, old school fellows that I haven’t seen in a long while, and had a wonderful day catching up at the Exeter Food Festival.

Well… it would’ve been wonderful if it hadn’t been spoiled by a comment made by one of my so-called friends.

He had said that I have a bad taste in music.

And before I had the chance to jump up and defend myself one of my other friends had changed the subject.

I felt humiliated and robbed of justice.

Now to start, I believe that saying anyone has a bad taste in music is just downright wrong.

Music is a subjective and personal experience and to say that someone has a ‘bad taste in music’ is really just an attack on their personality.

My music taste is very precious to me and I didn’t like the fact that I had been judged by someone who didn’t really know me anymore.

A huge time has elapsed since we went to school together and my music taste has certainly changed and grown since that time. Just because we were best pals at school doesn’t mean they know me just as well as they do now. I’ve been through a lot of different experiences that have influenced me in different ways.

I certainly do not pretend to know him as well anymore, and I recognise that a great many things have happened since we used to sit around in the 6th form common room together, listening to each other’s music with shared headphones. (Yes isn’t that funny, he used to appreciate my music taste back then; listening to Tenacious D, Michael Buble, Hans Zimmer, Hairspray and other completely random things.)

I think that because he went off to study music at university he believes that he his taste in music is superior to others. He judges harshly when they don’t listen or agree on the same music as him.

And I find this completely baffling and wrong, a music student should know better.

Music taste is not something that can be taught or constructed, it is as individual as a finger print.

What he has is a better understanding of music and this, I believe, is where his confusion lies. University has opened his eyes to different genres and artists, it has given him a better understanding and a wider knowledge of music as a whole.

But this knowledge and understanding DOES NOT affect his taste.

You can force someone to study and play as much classical music as you want but that will not make them like it if they didn’t before. I believe you can appreciate and understand something without having to like it or listen to it all the time.

There is no such thing as a good or a bad taste in music.

But there are different kinds of tastes

1)      Narrow taste – someone who has tunnel vision when it comes to music, they only listen to one particular style. They never deviate and they never branch out. Which is fine because they know their own mind, if they know what they like why should they have to need seek out new music just to please others?

2)      Inclusive taste – someone who has a very broad and extensive repertoire behind them, they are always on the lookout for new music and enjoy discovering different genres and styles. They are basically sluts when it comes to music, they love anything and everything.

3)      Intermittent taste – someone who has irregular shifts. They can be fixated on a particular genre or artist for a very long time but then can suddenly turn off and obsess about something else. They move on to new music one phase at a time.

So, I hope you understand what I mean.

Studying music and being introduced to new music doesn’t instantly mean you are going to like it or that you’ve suddenly got a better taste than anyone else. It depends where your music influences have come from.

I strongly believe in emotional responses to music, I pick up music from different places, people and experiences which has meant that a lot of my music comes with memories and emotions attached.

I think everyone can agree that moods and emotions play a great part in the music they listen to.

I felt so humiliated and insulted by what he said to me in front of my friends, I ran over all my ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda’s’ for the rest of the evening and night.

Man, I wanted to scream.

‘YOU ARE WRONG, YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME OR MY TASTE IN MUSIC IF YOU CAN COME OUT WITH SUCH A SWEEPING JUDGEMENTAL COMMENT LIKE THAT. YOU ARE BASING THIS ASSUMPTION ON WHAT I USED TO LISTEN TO IN SCHOOL AND THE FACT THAT I DON’T LIKE 90’S MUSIC. WELL DONE, WHAT AN INFORMED STATEMENT TO HAVE MADE.’

I have felt pretty rotten for the last few days, I’ve been wrestling with this injustice every night since he uttered those horrible words.

I wanted to defend myself, mainly because I believe that I actually have an eclectic and varied taste in music. I do prefer rather upbeat songs, but you can find upbeat and positive songs in nearly every genre of music.

My parents influenced me greatly and I still listen and love the likes of:

Dire Straits, Bruce Springsteen, Queen, ABBA, Tina Turner, Suzanne Vega, Elvis Presley, Santana, Pink Ffloyd, Phil Collins, R.E.M, Meatloaf, The Dubliners, Enya, Lighthouse Family, Rod Stewart, Status Quo, Vangelis and a lot of jazz and classical music.

My childhood was filled with a variety of sounds and genres, a great introduction to the wide world of music. I can’t say I’ve loved everything they’ve thrown at me but at least I can say I gave them a go.

There was one time during my teens where I went into a sort of hiding when it came to music.

I hate the 90’s and early noughties music because it just reminds me of this particular time, I was bullied, and from now on I can only associate bad thoughts to that period. So, whilst this awful racket of sound happened around me during my teens, I stuck to only one CD. (Back when iPods didn’t exist can you believe it? It’s really no wonder that my taste narrowed down to one particular artist. I couldn’t be bothered to change the CD!)

Dean Martin was my salvation. I was obsessed with his voice. He got me through the worst years of my life and for some reason I couldn’t bear listening to any modern music, not while I could listen to him.

It wasn’t until I entered sixth form that I began to return to my old diverse self (the introduction of the iPod definitely helped in this regard…) And once I went off to University that’s when I really discovered my wings.

From 2008 – 2011 I discovered a love for modern music, not because I thought they were great works of art, I just loved them because they reminded me of amazing nights out clubbing with my Uni friends. You can say that pop is mainstream garbage and I’d agree with you, but I would still love it nevertheless.

Just because I like a bit of pop doesn’t mean that this has defined my whole music taste. I have discovered a lot of other genres along the way and my most recent music package probably looks something like this:

Mumford and Sons, Bastille, Bellowhead, Alice Cooper, Arctic Monkeys, Avicii, Bon Jovi, Coldplay, Florence + The Machine, Jack Johnson, the Fratellis, Haim, Howard Shore, Imagine Dragons, Jimi Hendrix, The Killers, Kings of Leon, Lady Gaga, Lana Del Rey, London Grammar, McFly, Pendulum, Oasis, Of Monsters and Men, Rachel Portman and Van Morrison.

I love uncovering new music and having people introduce me to other artists or genres they like. I’ve recently discovered a love for electric swing music (1920’s style given a kick up the backside with a plug). I will always love Jazz, 80’s and late 00’s Pop, Classical, Folk, Rock, Motown and Alternative stuff and I’d hope that no one will ever accuse me of not giving something a go because I try my best to give different genres a chance.

I make informed decisions unlike others.

If you have ever put someone down for their music choices then I hope you feel ashamed of yourself.

To say to someone that they have a bad taste in anything is judgemental and insulting; all you are doing is viciously clawing away at something very private and personal to that individual.

It’s just plain rude and mean.

These kind of people usually hone in on one thing you like/ dislike and assume that it defines your whole taste, they never take the trouble to understand where this taste of yours comes from or take the time to discover if you are into other things. They make a snap judgement and they think they’ve got you pegged inside out.

I don’t do that, I like taking the time to unravel people. I get curious and ask questions like ‘oh why do you like that?’ or ‘What else are you interested in?’ People aren’t one dimensional and their tastes can change over time.

Mine certainly do.

The person who said that to me showed me their true colours and he’s going to have a hard time earning my trust and respect again. Comments like that say a lot about a person and I’ll now always have this tainted view of him, which is a shame, because up until that point I was really enjoying his company.

 

My Supporters

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Like an audience
they raised
their Luminous faces
Uniform yellows
In various places
On Hedgerows they lined up
Cheering me on
During the gruelling early months
Of spring
I ran
I progressed
Slowly
They were a constant
A crowd
They marked my road
Either side I huffed past
Blooming banks
Blowing Trumpets
They watched
They grew
Just as I was
To a fighter
I was going further
They were turning to yellow
Flashes

Till spring passed

A graveyard of flowers
Now line the streets
I run past
A stronger
Version of my self
But they wither
And I remember the gruelling months
When they would
Stand
A proud not cowardly yellow
A reminder of how
Quick
These seasons can fade
I look back on the
Beginner
When the daff’s were my only
Supporters
They glowed as I struggled
My standing ovation
Gone now.

With only the chaotic cheers of
Summer
To look forward to.
I miss
The regimented hedges
The whisperings of sunshine
The lines of beaming faces
I’m now on my own
An intermediate
With a newfound
self confidence
That can only carry me further.

Cheers now wait at the finish line.
Birds can’t fill the hedgerows
Daisy’s never stay in line
Except when chained
But I’m not that kind of procession
Butterfly’s are intermittent
And so
The relying relay had lost its
Baton
I’m alone.
Till next spring.

I’ll show them daffodils what a
Fighter I am then
And perhaps my ovation
Will be standing once again.

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My Thoughts On Feminism: Part 1

Firstly, I feel some context is needed here. I don’t know why, but this wave of feminism has come upon me very suddenly and to most of my friends this has been a recent and random transformation of self.

 

During University when I was studying feminism I hated it.

To me it was a movement that was being dominated by man haters and artists who liked to write about cunts just to cause controversy and seem original. It all seemed so fake and hypocritical to me back then. I naively thought we had equality because I hadn’t ever really experienced anything on a personal level to say otherwise.

 

But, it’s as if I have woken up. I now see the cause in a whole new light and feel overwhelmingly helpless. I can’t pin point where this new-found respect for feminism dawned on me but I can say for certain that the ‘Everyday Sexism Project’ played a huge part in shaking me up. It made me aware of all the flaws in our society and how much work there is still left to do for the world of women on the whole.

 

Its depressing really, this movement has lost steam because people think the problem has been fixed, that its finished and we’ve won.

 

Wrong, oh so wrong.

 

The fight for equal pay is still on and girls in other countries are still being treated like sex objects and second citizens. It’s not done, so though people in the West may be fed up of hearing about it, we can’t stop and we shouldn’t. It is still relevant and something worth fighting for.

 

So my reason for putting my own pennies worth in — my friends have recently noticed my sudden shift and have made a few comments about it. ‘Why are you suddenly into this stuff? What’s the point?’ Since waking up I have never felt more helpless or lost and the only thing that I can really do is talk about it and get others talking about it. They are probably bored and annoyed with it now but I don’t care. I’m doing something and to me that’s all that matters, I’m not on this earth to please everyone and say things they want to hear, they don’t have to read what I write or comment on it, I don’t mind if they ignore me but putting me down for speaking up about this is not ok in my book.

 

So, what I really want to focus on in is article is what I think Feminism is now. What it represents. What people mistake it for. And to pick out the ‘hypocrisies’ that I have been abused with and want to straighten out.

 

The views imbedded in society affect men and women alike, just because men aren’t mentioned in an article about some sort of sexism a woman is experiencing doesn’t mean they are excluded. An article can’t include everything and just because it may have missed out something doesn’t mean it should instantly become invalid. Feminism is broad and affects everyone so it’s going to be difficult to fit everything in. I can’t stand people who think they have won an argument with such a come back because I just think ‘that is part of it yes, well done, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t too’ Grrr it infuriates me.

 

I am impossibly fed up with the argument that people throw into debates — ‘but what about men? What about their oppression?’ They think that saying this unravels the argument and makes feminism invalid. Wrong! This is all part of feminism, they deserve help too, well done for raising it and adding to the point that feminism IS STILL RELEVANT because it’s the sexist views in society that affect both genders.

Men are part of feminism. The point is that everyone is part of feminism. It is about equal rights for all. But please forgive us if we accidentally forget to mention men in articles like this. Yes of course men are affected too and we aren’t saying they aren’t but in the grand scheme of things, when you look at what is happening in the rest of the world, they aren’t suffering as much as women are. So of course, naturally, we will end up focusing on women more.

 

The more work we do for women the more advantages will fall on the men too, because it all goes hand in hand.

 

Just because we don’t say it, doesn’t mean we think this — ‘Oh ok, so wait, you think it’s ok for men to be raped but women aren’t?’ Which is what someone literally said when I was having this similar discussion. Did I say that? NO I FUCKING DIDN’T. No one should be ‘allowed to be raped’ how does me saying women need equal rights instantly mean I think men should be raped? Comments like that really really really piss me off (as you can tell). If we change the mindset that society has about women then of course it will change for men too. We both deserve to be equal, and we both deserve not to be raped (thank you arsehole who said that).

 

So to continue, a man and a woman can choose whatever they want to be. They can choose whatever career and lifestyle they want without the fear of being penalized. If a woman wants to be career driven and work in an office she should not be made fun of, nor should she be made fun of for wanting to be a stay-at-home-mum or a model or a firefighter or stripper. Her choice her rules.

Now replace all the her’s and woman’s with his and men’s. It should make sense either way, if a man wants to be a stay-at-home-father, nurse, footballer or in the office he should not be made fun of either. His choice his rules.

 

Now that’s not to say that we go round pretending that men and women aren’t different. We aren’t A-sexual beings and we shouldn’t ignore the biological differences between us. We should celebrate them! Of course there are physical and mental differences. E.g. how else would a transgendered man know that he is a woman trapped in a mans body? I wholly accept that with my gender comes a huge bag of hormones and emotions and men have a ton of testosterone that makes them rather aggressive. Is that a bad thing? Am I suddenly a disgrace to the female race? No. We can have a lot of things similar, we are all capable of doing whatever we want and if some girls are girly and some men are manly how is that a bad thing? There is a spectrum, and we should celebrate the variety. Not put each other down and say, you aren’t a feminist because you want to have babies and don’t want to be in an office and likewise you can’t turn round to a man and say you aren’t a feminist because you want to go to the gym and don’t want to be a dressmaker. Feminist’s come in all forms, it’s inclusive, it’s everyone.

 

And of course there will always be attraction between us. I know I perv on men quite a lot, I can’t help looking and appreciating the male form. I don’t see anything wrong with looking, a man can look at me if he wants. What we can’t do is instantly think we can touch. I wouldn’t grab a stranger’s arse and I’d hope for the same courtesy in return. Just because I am showing off some flesh doesn’t mean I want sex. Come on. I am not asking for it by wearing a short skirt. I even hate women who I don’t know touching me. My body has rights and no one should think themselves allowed to touch without asking or without an invitation. Its just a matter of personal space.

 

Now this area is a bit hazy; the advertising industry uses sex to sell. Of course it does. Its part of our lives and we shouldn’t act as if sex is disgusting because we are all at it. Don’t deny it. What I can’t stand is the unnecessary use of sex. Car adverts shouldn’t need a half naked model to sell a car. A naked woman doesn’t make a car work better or look cool. I don’t get a half naked model when I buy a car, do I? It’s just so excessive and tacky. How does a half naked man make yogurt taste good? To be honest if I see a sexy man the last thing I am going to be thinking about is that yogurt.

 

BUT, those models shouldn’t be made into victims, if they felt comfortable getting naked and enjoy stripping off. What’s wrong with that? It’s their right to prance around in bikinis if they want to. If they were pressured into it and feel that the only way to get work is to strip off then that isn’t right, but how can we tell? How can we make sure that the choice was there?

 

Sex is empowering. The Miley Cyrus debate was a bit of a crossroad. Yes I admit I found her video disgusting and over the top, but loads of other female artists have done this. I judge a singer by their music not by how they look and if they are sexy. But this is what the music industry plays up to. So again it’s down to choice. Personally I think using your body and your looks to sell music is the wrong way to go, but if that’s what they wanted to do then fine. I just won’t watch. I just think people need to think about their reasons and how these acts are interpreted by others. Sinead O’Conner felt objectified by the music industry and if the industry only values you because they can pimp you out and sell your body surely that is sexism right there? It’s not about the music. But, like I said this part is a bit hazy, how can we tell what’s going on in the dressing room? But that’s what life is about.

 

Sometimes there isn’t a black and white answer, of course there will be some grey area’s. Especially in such a broad subject such as this, but that doesn’t mean you can brush this movement aside and say ‘this isn’t perfect or straightforward therefore it means nothing’. Is anything ever perfect?

 

Oh wait it can be with photoshop… Sorry I thought that a great way to drop it in here. I’m just going to come out and say it – I HATE PHOTOSHOP. I hate this warped image of beauty they are feeding to us and our kids. According to the beauty industry we women are worth nothing if we aren’t beautiful and thin. Now this really needs to stop. Yes, I like make up, I like dressing up and dolling myself up for nights out but I shouldn’t be expected to do it, I shouldn’t be judged for not wearing any lippy. And I am fed up of adverts only using skinny models. As a species we are all varying sizes, shapes and colours. CELEBRATE IT. Adverts have a great deal of influence and therefore have a huge responsibility whether they like it or not. I want them to promote a healthy image, use different sizes as long as they are happy and healthy. I don’t really want to see an obese or anorexic person, as both extremes are damaging, but I am happy to see whatever size in between. I know this is a hazy area too but personally I’d like to just see healthy people in adverts that haven’t been touched up and mutilated by photoshop. Men as well, of course. Attraction is different things to different people, I know my taste in men is very different to all of my friends, so why is there a uniform to beauty. Just, no.

 

Also what I can’t stand is how quickly people associate women who are like ‘men are beneath us, women are better than them’ to feminism. Women who say this are obviously not feminists and do not believe in equality. They should not be considered as feminists in any way shape or form and people who instantly jump to this stereotype — shame on you. You are devaluing the work real feminists are doing for both genders. MAN-HATERS ARE NOT FEMINISTS OK? WE CLEAR?

 

And you ‘feminists’ that put men down and shout at them for opening the door to you, stop it. I open doors for people. Surely if men and women both take on this courtesy that instantly makes it equal? It’s a polite gesture and as long as I am doing it for other people too surely means that it isn’t something a man can use to show dominance over a woman. Having manners should be universal and if we teach men and women to be chivalrous then what’s wrong with that? Don’t you hold doors open for other women? Don’t you give up your seat for a pregnant lady or a disabled person? Surely its just a nice and kind thing for both men and women to do? Men have been taught that this is how you should ‘treat’ a lady, so if we embrace it too surely it just becomes a ‘treat’ for everyone?

 

I feel like feminism had been overshadowed by stereotypes that the real meaning behind the movement has been forgotten and lost. I think it needs refreshed. Maybe a new name so people don’t instantly associate the movement with ‘just women’, we need to shake off the old stereotypes and the misunderstandings and start afresh and make people realize this is still relevant and worth talking about and acting upon.

 

And if there are any other holes I’ve miss or any other branches I haven’t covered that come under this giant broad tree that is feminism let me know. I’m sure I’ve got other pennies somewhere. I know I am opening myself up to criticism here but this is just my opinion, so take from it what you want, I know it won’t please everyone.

 

Here are some links if you want to get involved/ informed:

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2014/apr/10/sexual-harassment-flirting-six-differences