Review Number Two

2) Dukes of Sidmouth – Devon


Now this is one place I can’t get enough of. Not because I think their cream teas are the best but because every time I have gone it’s consistently been an interesting experience. I usually frequent this establishment with a good friend of mine to catch up and chat about random crap.

Like how we both really should’ve gone swimming instead of gorging on fattening treats… or discussing how we both hate places which serve food in dim lighting… yeah we know it looks romantic but damn it! We like to see our food!

So we go here because its close but we always arrive with apprehensive expectations now….

Once we arrived and they had no plain scones… NO PLAIN SCONES. Can you actually believe it? Needless to say we took our custom elsewhere but we were still hurt by their betrayal. It didn’t matter how well Costa made its coffee or how sweet they made their muffins it was of little comfort to us when the holes in our stomachs were prepared for scones. So that was one strike against them.

The next time we journeyed to Sidmouth we decided to see if, this time, Dukes had made amends. And when we found out that they did have plain scones… well I only thought it just to give them another chance.

But alas, nothing ever runs smoothly. The lady who served us was obviously… in plain terms; stupid. If she had had it her way we would’ve ended up with three pots of tea, four scones and a latte. I admit some of the fault may have been mine, but, when one changes an order you would think that someone would recognise that two girls would not and should not manage three pots of tea to themselves… incredulous. Anyway, thankfully, we were saved by a most handsome man with one of those strange haircuts that have the side bits shaved off… and he fixed our order and in compensation gave us, not only the choice of raspberry jam but also the most gigantic pot of cream I have ever seen in all of my cream tea eating years.

I think I fell in love a little bit… just a smidge… or possibly had a mini orgasm… who knows….

So yes interesting and in technical terms the scones were, in my mind, damn fine. Plump buns, raspberry jam (and other varieties if you are in the mood to experiment) and lots and lots of cream… well only if you make sure you get the tasty morsel of a man with the military hairstyle…

I do have another anecdote from this place but it is only loosely related… my friend is incapable of carrying liquids. Not sure why but for some reason no matter how short the distance she will spill whatever it is she is carrying. One time she was misfortunate enough to discover that the lady at the till had not given her milk for her tea… so she had to go get it… well I wasn’t going to! I had a scone in front of me that couldn’t be ignored. So off she went. All she had to do was walk from the bar back to the table. She had nothing else to distract her, nothing else to hold, all she had to do was carry the smallest amount of milk back to the table without spilling it… did she do it? No. (lol) Inevitably most of it ended up on the floor… Did I laugh? Yes, easy answer, sometimes I can be cruel. But fear not karma paid me back in kind; I spent the rest of that particular outing with the evidence of a jam spillage stained on my leg for all to see. Pleasant I don’t think.


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